First time together.

I don't think I'll blog about the birth. Unless anyone particularly wants to know? Jemmy was one of the first people I called when it was over, anyway. Those first few hours with her on the outside were magical, and I wanted to share some of it with him.

The hospital was very close to his house, so we had imagined that he would visit me there, but as it turns out, I didn't stay long enough for any visits at all. So, I think Small was three days old when Jemmy came over to our place to meet her. It was the day my milk "came in", so my breasts were like sacks of sand. He had offered to cook us dinner (he is awesome like that) which was appreciated beyond measure. This was my daughter's first day experiencing milk, and it was a hit, so whenever she was awake, she wanted to suck. Add to that that it was also her stomach's first day digesting more than a teaspoon of liquid at a time, and there was also a lot of mess. It was more than enough work for two people without thinking of cooking, let alone two people who had barely slept for four or five days, one of whom could barely walk due to stitches.

The things that will stay with me were that he cried when he held her, and he made us a salad with pears in it.

He also made a risotto, which was perfect as I could eat it with one hand as I fed her yet again. Breastfeeding made me incredibly hungry in the early weeks, and I was still replacing lost calories from labour, so I ate twice as much as either of them. And stuff sentmental wank, it was one of the best meals I've ever had.

Spending time with both of them together recharged me in a way I didn't predict. I'm very close to our family, but I can relax a different part of myself when I'm with Jemmy. Experiencing that whilst adjusting to being a parent turned out to be just what I needed.

It was, of course, different. One of the things about having a long term relationship with someone you do not live with, is that sex stays a big feature. When Jemmy and I plan time together, we assume sex will happen. Because we live together, Gaius and I spend a larger proportion of our time together not having sex. This is one reason, I think, that secondary poly relationships can feel slightly unreal, because the ordinary, every day stuff just doesn't feature, at least, not to the same extent.

So all this means that not having sex with Gaius feels less significant than not having sex with Jemmy, because I am more used to not having sex with Gaius. Maybe, also, because new parents expect a temporary cessation of their sex lives, but people (obviously) don't often talk about how your other sexual relationships might change.

I did not think I would be noticing the absense of sex three days after pushing a human being out of my vagina, but there you go.