My husband and I thought that having a baby would mean that some of our friends would drift away. Babies aren't everyone's cup of tea, and so we thought that some people might lose interest in us now that our lives revolved around one.
In fact, the opposite happened. It turns out, some of our friends were so interested in Small that they wanted to spend more time with us. Both of us have made new connections since Small was born, and those people seem to enjoy spending time with her as well as well. So we were wrong: having a baby seems to have made spending time with us more desirable, not less. We're surprised and lucky to have such an amazing, loving, child-friendly community around us.
And I love that people love her. I love nothing more than seeing people enjoying her company, not to mention investing time and effort into connecting with her. I love her so much that any kindness shown to her warms me as much as kindnesses offered to me directly.
Other parents will recognise how it feels to bask in this reflected love, but so will the polyamorous, I think.
I love my husband so much, that I warm to those that love him. When someone is enchanted by him, as I am, and wants to be in his company, that makes me happy. Monogamous people are sometimes baffled by this. They don't understand how my husband and I can not only put up with the fact that we love other people, but be delighted by it.
I don't know if I can explain it, because I find it hard to imagine being any other way. For me, love is, I think, fuel for more love.
That last sentence says it all, I think. That's the thing which makes you realise that the penny's dropped :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I find it strange that it doesn't work like that for some people. Perhaps if they could explain it, rather than assuming it to be the case, I'd understand why our view is seen as deviant.
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